Category Archives: On My Mind

Crap!? Not now!

Did you hear about the guy who was caught inside the toilet of a porta-potty at a yoga fair? He was arrested. What would the bail amount be for an offense like that? I guess a shit load of money.

Lift your spirits

I know I have a small chest when it takes only one hand to adjust my bra. You know you have a big chest when you have to use two hands to adjust your bra—and your hands are a foot apart.

Unsound decision

A highly sensitive person, such as myself, has no business being in sales—especially door knocking. I get yelled at all the time. For example, a man whose daughter was a personal trainer told me that he wouldn’t buy just any book, only one that is a good investment. He didn’t buy a book.

Held up

I walked into a bank and asked for change for a fifty.
The teller asked, “Are you a customer here?”
“No,” I said.
“OK well I’ll do it just this one time. Normally I wouldn’t because this bill could be counterfeit and I want to protect our customers from fraud.”
“Ha! Your company committed major fraud against your customers.”
“It wasn’t
that much fraud.”
A little bit of fraud is OK.