Category Archives: On My Mind

Four bearers

I wonder if the founders of our country predicted that the term forefathers would be used in the future by children from broken homes.

Paper thin alibi

I am selling toilet paper on the black market—out of the back of my truck in an alley. $100 per roll. Meet me there. This offer won’t last. Grab ‘em while they’re hot.

Fatpiling

Some people don’t need to look at their grocery carts and wallets to see that they’re hoarding food. They just need to look to their hips and bellies.

Peso operated

I was at a store looking at washing machines and asked a worker to show me the top of the line. He pointed to one and said, “This one. It’s an LG.” I said no. I want Maria—someone to do my laundry for me.