Check, please!

When I meet a guy, I go through the following mental checklist:

  • Deal breaker (DB): Has kids. Acceptable (A): Married
  • DB: Shaves body. A: Shaves face
  • DB: Owns cat. A: Eats cat
  • DB: Funnier than me. A: Laughs at all my jokes
  • DB: College dropout. A: College age
  • DB: Doesn’t vote. A: Voted most likely to model for GQ
  • DB: Can’t balance a checkbook. A: Gives me control of checkbook
  • DB: Has never traveled internationally (Canada and Mexico don’t count. Neither does Hawaii.). A: Cooks internationally
  • DB: Wanted. A: Discarded
  • DB: Pre-historic. A: Historian
  • DB: Drug user. A: Pharmacist
  • DB: Senseless. A: Sensual
  • DB: Leaves toilet seat up. A: Lid down
  • DB: Overweight. A: Will wait for me
  • DB: Criminal record. A: Olympic record